The Worst Movies of 2013: The Uncle Crizzle Edition
1, Grown-Ups 2 — Sandler’s worst film yet — and that’s saying a lot. Dude isn’t even remotely trying anymore. He needs to be stopped.
2. The Smurfs 2 — All those blue bitches — and whoever was involved in making this — can go to hell.
3. Passion — Yeah, yeah, I know — it’s De Palma. But, seriously, I can’t take this old, pervy nigga and his infuriating “thrillers” anymore.
4. R.I.P.D. — Hey, you know what’s worse than all those Men in Black sequels? How about a Men in Black ripoff? A monumental waste of time.
5. We’re the Millers — Hey, Jen, I know you have a banging body. But you don’t need to show it off in this bullshit. It degrades both of us.
6. Now You See Me — For my next trick, I’m gonna slap the shit out of the cast and the filmmakers with my sack!
7. Identity Thief — If it wasn’t for the third Hangover movie, this would’ve been the worst Todd Phillips movie to come out this year.
8. Warm Bodies — THEY PUSSIFIED ZOMBIES!
9. Austenland — How did the worst rom-com of 2003 end up getting released ten years later? Kept waiting for Felicity to come out as a Russian spy and blow everybody away with a machine gun.
10. Saving Mr. Banks — Hey, let’s make a movie condemning a legendary children’s author while making Walt Disney look like Jesus! No wonder critics went apeshit over Escape from Tomorrow.