I think it’s about time I explained my obsession with Christina Hendricks.

I have posted so many photos of the woman on my Facebook page, I’m sure many of my friends and colleagues have probably wondered, “Is he gonna end up stalking this girl?” To answer your question, I’ve gotten too old and too complacent to stalk anyone.

The truth of the matter is Mrs. Hendricks is not an obsession for me, but merely a joyful reminder – a consistent vision of inspiration, if you will. At first, it was kind of fun finding the latest image of the bosomy, bountiful Hendricks and using it for my FB profile pic. It was quite the kick getting the myriad responses I would get from my friends, whether they approved of Mrs. Hendricks’ voluptuousness (I see you, Villani!) or just straight-up hating on her. (Matusow, I’m looking in your direction.)

But while it’s undoubtedly a pleasurable exercise ogling a woman as gorgeous and statuesque as Mrs. Hendricks, there has also been an underlying motive to my consistent coverage of her. Basically, she gives me hope.

Let me explain.

Those who really know me will probably attest to the fact that I’m not an optimistic person. In fact, you could say I’m pathologically pessimistic. I look for the bottom to fall out so often, I should be walking around wearing assless chaps.

My lifelong tendency to see the glass as half-empty is something that even I have grown tired of. I’ve really tried my best to maintain some sort of positive attitude, especially now that I’m unemployed and there’s a good chance I could end up homeless, penniless and dead. (See what I mean?)

Believe it or not, adoring Mrs. Hendricks helps me in that aspect. Now, I’m not saying I see her as someone I could get. As I’ve established from constantly referring to her as “Mrs. Hendricks,” the woman appears to be happily married. (Sadly, I don’t have that mechanism in my brain that most men have where I could delude myself into thinking that I could easily snag her if I had the chance.)

However, admiring her from afar has been something of a personal pick-me-up.  Much like whenever someone sees or experiences something that brightens their day, like getting an unexpected compliment or receiving a smile from a passing stranger, seeing Mrs. Hendricks can often have that effect on me. She’s that beacon of sunshine, that ray of light down a dark, gloomy tunnel.

I hope this doesn’t sound weird to many of you. It certainly feels weird for me just committing this all down for everyone to see. Hopefully, there are those who can sympathize. I’m sure, for many people, there is that one thing that keeps them going, that makes them persevere and march on when there is no hope in sight. Maybe it’s your job. Maybe it’s your significant other. Maybe it’s your family. Maybe it’s some sort of calling. Maybe it’s something so minor, you wouldn’t expect anyone to get any inspiration from it.

I know I’m putting a lot of pressure on this lady by admitting she keeps me from diving into a pit of despair and hopelessness. It’s very likely she already has a lot on her shoulder being the unofficial spokesperson for women looking for a celebrity who’s curvaceous and proud of it. But it appears she’s taking it in stride, maintaining both a healthy attitude and positive body image that makes her admirable not only as a public beauty, but just as a decent human being.

I’m just saying that whatever she’s been doing, she should keep on doing it. Knowing that there are people like Christina Hendricks out there prevents me from cannonballing into the abyss. Do your best, girl.

  1. unclecrizzle posted this